Celinda Jungheim, President, Recovery International

We do cognitive behavioral training that helps people understand more about their lives. Most people don’t stop and think about what goes on in their lives, the irritations and frustrations that they allow themselves to get worked up about. In Recovery, we learn all these very simple tools about how to approach our lives so we can have a more peaceful and productive life.

I came in many years ago as a very ill person, but I see so many people who are stressed just in their work life because they worry about this and that, which probably isn’t even going to happen. All of our programs are led by volunteers who are group leaders who have been through the program and understand it. We never become masters. We’re always apprentices. So I’m still learning all these years.

Our tools are simple, but they must be practiced like any skill that you want to develop. You need to practice it in order to make it work for you. Doing that as a group in the format we have for our meetings makes it possible for people to practice and get what I would call gentle correction. This is because a lot of people continue to think about their situation the way they’ve always thought about it. But the group may suggest some other ways to look at that.

One of our very simple spots is if you can’t change the situation, you can change your attitude toward it. Most of us don’t stop and think about that so you don’t need to accept every thought that comes to you. I had a lot of negative thoughts when I came to recovery, and it never occurred to me that I didn’t have to accept that as being the truth.

It’s really learning this emotional intelligence. We’ve used to call it discursive thinking. Then, it became cognitive behavioral skills. Now we’re into emotional intelligence. It’s all the same thing, and we’ve been here for more than 85 years to deal with that.

I think it’s understanding for people that get it. People who really want to change see this. As for me, it was the roadmap for how to get well. People say, “Don’t stress so much.” I didn’t know how not to stress. I needed somebody to tell me how to practice this and how to get better. That’s the success of this meeting.

But it is not something that if somebody wants a quick fix, just give me a pill or something else. We don’t have that because Dr. Low, the founder of Recovery, said the quick fix won’t do it. You have to practice and practice and practice. Then, you teach yourself these skills.

For some people, it’s physical things like nervous fatigue or panic attack anxiety. For others, a lot of it is their thinking that they’re scared or angry. They’re frustrated and all. And it’s all these irritations and frustrations in daily life.

You get up in the morning, and you go to put on your favorite blouse. It’s got a spot on it. You’re irritated. You go to get your milk for your cereal, and it’s spoiled. Pretty soon, if you haven’t stopped and thought about each one of those and dropped the concerns about them, you go out of the door all worked up already to face your day. You’re driving in traffic. You’re angry because everybody’s slower than you need to go. So we’re teaching people how to handle all these irritations and frustrations, and it keeps them living a much more peaceful life.

Sure. If somebody is new to a meeting, we do have some newcomer meetings. We encourage them to attend because it’s an introduction. So you come in, and we always at our meetings read something from Dr. Low’s works because those are the basis of our program. We read a chapter from one of his books, and then we just discuss it very briefly if somebody has a question. But the key to recovery is the four-step example.

In the first step, we asked somebody to report what got you worked up. What was the situation that upset you?

The second step is to describe those symptoms that you have. How are you feeling physically? A lot of people don’t realize they’re clenching their jaw. They’ve got that tension in the stomach or shoulders. They’re clenching their hands. They don’t realize that until they begin to focus on it. Then, the thoughts you’re having. Why did he do that to me? What’s going on? Why is this happening? It’s not fair, and whatever those thoughts are. If we have a disturbing impulse like I’m going to pick up something and throw it, we describe that as well.

Then, we go into the third step where we really start to apply our recovery tools, and that is spotting our fearful and angry temper. So the angry temper is a judgment that somebody else has done me wrong, that somebody got it in for me or they just did it to me to embarrass me. The fearful temper is in my judgment that I’m wrong.

When you think about finding ways to drop all that judgment, that’s where we apply our recovery tools. You might say people do things that annoy us, but there are always two sides to a story. He has a different point of view than I have. He’s not wrong, and I’m not wrong. He’s not right, and I’m not right. We just have different points of view. So, its allowing a bigger range of things.

Then, the key to recovery is this concept of self-endorsement. It’s giving ourselves a little pat on the back verbally. Usually, mentally, but sometimes people actually do it verbally just to just to remind themselves they’re doing a good job where they’re trying. You don’t even have to be successful. You just try, and that’s part of it because very few of us think about giving ourselves credit for anything. We wait for somebody else to say good job you did that, and that was a nice job. We need to do it for ourselves.

The last step is to go back and look at how we would have handled this before we came to Recovery. Even if we feel like we didn’t handle the particular situation we’re dealing with very well, we usually see that we’ve gained some since we first came to Recovery.

Sometimes, we see many games. People say, “I just wouldn’t have tried,” or “I wouldn’t have given up,” or whatever. I see it as a possibility that could help me get to work. I mean, I’ve used it so much in my work life, working as a team with people instead of working because I said to do it. Give me your feedback. Let’s talk about it. Let’s see how we make a much better, easier workplace for people.

I’d like to. I’m currently leading caregivers or people caring for somebody else. One of the people in our group drives a van to pick up disabled people. He’ll get a call to pick up somebody, and he thinks, “Oh, I’ve dealt with that person before, and they’re really difficult.” He could get himself all into knots. He said that before Recovery, he expressed much temper about people. He’d mutter under his breath, and he was angry.

Now, he just says, “Well, let’s see what happens when I get there.” And he can pick them up and deal with whatever issue may come up while he’s driving them. And he stays calm through the day while he’s driving instead of going home at night all tied up with all the things that went wrong during the day. As a reflection of that, he takes much better care of the people that he’s driving because he’s calm.

One of our spots is that calm begets calm, and temper begets temper. So, when he displays calmness to people, they tend to be more calm. However, if the person comes out and says something angry and responds with anger, it just escalates. He’s a person that I admire for how he’s learned to handle that. There are so many other people like him.

When I came to Recovery, I was severely ill I was committed to the state hospital. Then, I found Recovery. The medical model didn’t really work for me. That’s not to say it doesn’t work for everybody, but it didn’t work for me. So, I happened to find Recovery. I thought my very first meeting was going to help me get well because it was going to show me how to practice and learn to change my behavior and my thinking. That can happen to anyone, but we do have to want to practice. You have to do the practice.

Oh, anybody who comes through the door has leadership ability. Usually, people come in, and they’re like, “Me, a leader? Oh, I don’t think so.” But in general, people come along. And we now have a national leadership training program. So, they can come. In fact, we’re going to start next week with a new batch of people.

They come in and get trained. We don’t expect them to be perfect. We just demonstrate and keep the meeting on target. So we’re not there to expound any great knowledge. We’re there to demonstrate how we use Recovery, and how we can follow the method to do it for others.

Over the years, we’ve had a wide variety of ways to access this program. Now, our groups are mainly on Zoom. We have many telephone meetings and some in-person meetings.

Although we never turn anyone away, we do ask for donations at meetings. We rely on donations from anyone who sees value in our program. So those may be family and friends. It may be other corporations. We do get some grants. It’s well worth it. It’s a big payback for whatever’s put in because we’re very protective of our money as we let it go. We’re not spending it here and there. Our small staff is probably our biggest expense because they are there to support all the hundreds of groups that we have.

I think we’re the best-kept secret people may hear about. It sounds too simple for them. Most people think my case is really complicated and that this simple program can’t help, and that includes professionals who would like to come in. Many of them are very supportive, but some of them come in and think, “Well, I can step in and fix this and add a little something.” As soon as you do that, it doesn’t work.

There’s something about this self-help method that makes it a success. I could guarantee that no one has ever been hurt by Recovery. So, you can come. If you don’t like it, you don’t have to stay. But nobody has ever been harmed by coming to Recovery meetings, and we are a great adjunct to professional care. Many people also see a psychiatrist or a therapist, and that allows them to focus on what the person really needs. Instead of saying, “Oh, I just can’t stand these symptoms; you’ve got to take away the anxiety; I can’t stand this,” they’re focused on family dynamics or whatever the problem really is. We’re helping people with these other symptoms that they can learn to manage.

Well, I would love to see it become a part of everybody’s school plan. If our kids can learn these tools early on, they won’t have so much strife in their lives. I see so many people not finding recovery until they’re in their forties or beyond. By then, it’s all very set in. They’ve had years and years of discomfort.

I see us as being able to really expand, particularly because we are now on Zoom, and people can access us from anywhere. So, I encourage anyone to come and check it out. Come to six meetings before you decide whether it’s going to help you or not.